Wait what? Do I seriously turn my gender into something else? Like what? Third gender? Fourth gender? No, it's fifth gender. Girl might be a second or even first gender or vice versa. I am in the state of fifth gender. The hell what am I doing with my life?
Lately, lots of things invading me. No, they don't invade. It might be destined that those things act as lesson to come into my life and teach me to be grateful. In a sudden, without any hesitation, my lecturer that could never play some entertainment in class before, suddenly showed a video of Lena Maria. The one born with no hands but remain tending to go on with her life normally like the rest. Physically not. She is not weak. For sure no! The handicapped parts of her body strengthen her more and become a key of success. She succeeded to cook, draw, to do some other routine like the rest of normal people did. And she even get married.
So, she said. I mean, publicly says, what do we need more for not to be grateful. You're fat. You're thin. You're ugly and you're what else? No need to blame on the world. There is no time useful for the blaming. We need to move on. Go on with your life. Just stand still in the flow. (doesn't mean you have to be nerd)
My own experience. Something for seriously had surged me so bad. But I don't think it should be the hassle for me to stop living. I might be different as what my classmates defined me after I was back from the condition of attacked. I was serious bad injured inside. Perhaps before, I was too expressive, saying anything I want to my closest friend in my class. I went to beach and shouted as loud as I could. I always, every single problem I tended to tell her. You know what, something came. And whispered slowly into this canal.
What to become of me?
Shut up! Manage yourself! Don't be such a pathetic!
Okay, then. I was alright till then, there come the one that I longed to meet, I longed to talk and I longed to be noticed by you. But why? Why this moment. You came and bother my life. I want you! You are my friend. I want you to tell me about your problem. And what I heard that you've got a crush. I want you to share about your crush with me. They say I am falling love but shut up, I could never fall in love with you because I want you as my friend.
You came and asked me on serious matter. I could never joke around during the phone call. I could never. And since the day, and since 'that thing' (I didn't even mention what) surged me, I was like this. The one that my classmates defined 'different''. Maybe. and... maybe. There are a lot of things that shouldn't be revealable.
Jung Yup - Why Did You Come Now?
An original soundtrack of I Hear Your Voice. Well
wae ije ya wanni .
왜 이제야 왔니?
Why did you come now?
I always took a further distance from the library. I never entered the first gate since I wanted to use the hallway (I don't know what they call that way crossing over the green field). and I always kept the song played during my walk towards the hostel. Whether I am in a group walking together, I would stay silent and breathed with the song . (It seemed like I was mentally distracted wasn't I?)
If you see me writing like topsy-turvy, blame the literature. I am studying TESL, literary devices and reading Shakespeare's materials made my head turned upside down.
Well, that song 'wae ije ya wanni', it seems like I am blaming that friend for showing up that day. I almost forgot you. No, I didn't forget you. I tended to cover up my yearning but still I miss you. Since you made a call and spoke seriously, I was like.... why now?
Revenge? Well, I would never want to get myself drowned in such a bad condition. But, I don't know why, when I reflected myself into the mirror (mirror mirror on the wall), am I filled with revenge? Why am I turning into this monster. Some of them are scared to speak amiably to me and some of them are annoyed of my attitude. I never asked for this. Never.
And then, here comes the solution. I tended to seek my parents and maybe a lil bit babbling and I just got to swallow all those stuffs. Because they are my parents. And I'm here for the sake of them. Maybe I'm against all of these and maybe I feel agitated. But once I realized that I am here because I love'em.
Lately, lots of things invading me. No, they don't invade. It might be destined that those things act as lesson to come into my life and teach me to be grateful. In a sudden, without any hesitation, my lecturer that could never play some entertainment in class before, suddenly showed a video of Lena Maria. The one born with no hands but remain tending to go on with her life normally like the rest. Physically not. She is not weak. For sure no! The handicapped parts of her body strengthen her more and become a key of success. She succeeded to cook, draw, to do some other routine like the rest of normal people did. And she even get married.
So, she said. I mean, publicly says, what do we need more for not to be grateful. You're fat. You're thin. You're ugly and you're what else? No need to blame on the world. There is no time useful for the blaming. We need to move on. Go on with your life. Just stand still in the flow. (doesn't mean you have to be nerd)
My own experience. Something for seriously had surged me so bad. But I don't think it should be the hassle for me to stop living. I might be different as what my classmates defined me after I was back from the condition of attacked. I was serious bad injured inside. Perhaps before, I was too expressive, saying anything I want to my closest friend in my class. I went to beach and shouted as loud as I could. I always, every single problem I tended to tell her. You know what, something came. And whispered slowly into this canal.
What to become of me?
Shut up! Manage yourself! Don't be such a pathetic!
Okay, then. I was alright till then, there come the one that I longed to meet, I longed to talk and I longed to be noticed by you. But why? Why this moment. You came and bother my life. I want you! You are my friend. I want you to tell me about your problem. And what I heard that you've got a crush. I want you to share about your crush with me. They say I am falling love but shut up, I could never fall in love with you because I want you as my friend.
You came and asked me on serious matter. I could never joke around during the phone call. I could never. And since the day, and since 'that thing' (I didn't even mention what) surged me, I was like this. The one that my classmates defined 'different''. Maybe. and... maybe. There are a lot of things that shouldn't be revealable.
Jung Yup - Why Did You Come Now?
An original soundtrack of I Hear Your Voice. Well
wae ije ya wanni .
왜 이제야 왔니?
Why did you come now?
I always took a further distance from the library. I never entered the first gate since I wanted to use the hallway (I don't know what they call that way crossing over the green field). and I always kept the song played during my walk towards the hostel. Whether I am in a group walking together, I would stay silent and breathed with the song . (It seemed like I was mentally distracted wasn't I?)
If you see me writing like topsy-turvy, blame the literature. I am studying TESL, literary devices and reading Shakespeare's materials made my head turned upside down.
Well, that song 'wae ije ya wanni', it seems like I am blaming that friend for showing up that day. I almost forgot you. No, I didn't forget you. I tended to cover up my yearning but still I miss you. Since you made a call and spoke seriously, I was like.... why now?
Revenge? Well, I would never want to get myself drowned in such a bad condition. But, I don't know why, when I reflected myself into the mirror (mirror mirror on the wall), am I filled with revenge? Why am I turning into this monster. Some of them are scared to speak amiably to me and some of them are annoyed of my attitude. I never asked for this. Never.
And then, here comes the solution. I tended to seek my parents and maybe a lil bit babbling and I just got to swallow all those stuffs. Because they are my parents. And I'm here for the sake of them. Maybe I'm against all of these and maybe I feel agitated. But once I realized that I am here because I love'em.
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