*writing from the other side*
like what kelantanese said "hok ore tokse wi buat tu la nok buat jugok". people know and thus realizing that how the sins could make smooth ways to undesired hell. I know. This world filled with laughter, we said, we are parts of the hell members and bestfriends are roommates in that particular unwanted world. We aint realise that those words are jokes or the real leading of that path, or only jokes for jokes.
I ve been through hardships for so long since my weeks of practicum started. I really had no idea where to tell this, well people could say that I should keep it sacred in my heart and confessed it in du'a, honestly its true. Somehow, imma type of human that needs cistern to store my expressionless expression. I had an emotional gloomy day of the month for I was observed by the lecturers and it ended up making me sad and stuck all the way to continue this hard journey.
I didnt actually put the blame on destiny - where I was fated to be in this teaching institution - I started to accept the truth and cope with all the hatred I discovered in this field but now, it surged me again. I knew since before for I had neither talent nor interest to be educator but I adore those junks who looked extremely educated and capable to speak the knowledge without having to think of impressing people - because they really earned the knowledge. I do not know what I wanted before I enrolled myself in this institution - PREVIOUSLY THE AMBITION WAS THERE BUT NOW?
thinking of not turning back time, logically and realistically, I should start something to evoke the success for this field. Nor I could change the fate, I had nothing else to go back. Bounded by the contract with the government, never could I change this like girls puttin on dresses in fitting room. I should make a move or doomed otherwise. Hence, I tried and tried but remained unworked. Maybe I havent reached the clear and nice brainstorming yet for this old age like my lecturer said "you havent gone outside of the box". Well, agreed with no offense! I ve been telling and all surrounding folks that me staying here is nothing but to only stay inside! But, God's plan. Who knows?
Friends and celebrities out there who were from this same institution, make it to the end of this program successfully. Why not I? Reflected myself, I found that, sins are never boring to be committed. This might sound dirty onwards so you gotta be prepared to read more down below 'cause I myself is sick of this and you better dont think bad of it.
Well, I spent minutes after the latest paragraph. I thought of writing it but it seems too disgusting to me and also the readers, and...
maybe later?
like what kelantanese said "hok ore tokse wi buat tu la nok buat jugok". people know and thus realizing that how the sins could make smooth ways to undesired hell. I know. This world filled with laughter, we said, we are parts of the hell members and bestfriends are roommates in that particular unwanted world. We aint realise that those words are jokes or the real leading of that path, or only jokes for jokes.
I ve been through hardships for so long since my weeks of practicum started. I really had no idea where to tell this, well people could say that I should keep it sacred in my heart and confessed it in du'a, honestly its true. Somehow, imma type of human that needs cistern to store my expressionless expression. I had an emotional gloomy day of the month for I was observed by the lecturers and it ended up making me sad and stuck all the way to continue this hard journey.
I didnt actually put the blame on destiny - where I was fated to be in this teaching institution - I started to accept the truth and cope with all the hatred I discovered in this field but now, it surged me again. I knew since before for I had neither talent nor interest to be educator but I adore those junks who looked extremely educated and capable to speak the knowledge without having to think of impressing people - because they really earned the knowledge. I do not know what I wanted before I enrolled myself in this institution - PREVIOUSLY THE AMBITION WAS THERE BUT NOW?
thinking of not turning back time, logically and realistically, I should start something to evoke the success for this field. Nor I could change the fate, I had nothing else to go back. Bounded by the contract with the government, never could I change this like girls puttin on dresses in fitting room. I should make a move or doomed otherwise. Hence, I tried and tried but remained unworked. Maybe I havent reached the clear and nice brainstorming yet for this old age like my lecturer said "you havent gone outside of the box". Well, agreed with no offense! I ve been telling and all surrounding folks that me staying here is nothing but to only stay inside! But, God's plan. Who knows?
Friends and celebrities out there who were from this same institution, make it to the end of this program successfully. Why not I? Reflected myself, I found that, sins are never boring to be committed. This might sound dirty onwards so you gotta be prepared to read more down below 'cause I myself is sick of this and you better dont think bad of it.
Well, I spent minutes after the latest paragraph. I thought of writing it but it seems too disgusting to me and also the readers, and...
maybe later?
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