Please you don't know me yet

Maybe it sounds like a super serious (well it's not funny at all). You will never know who I am. You will never know what is currently hiding in me. You have only seen what is visible to your eyes not to your hearts. You can see how hyperactive I am in the class after I just 'recovered' from the sickness of leaving UiTM. Well, yet you have to see that people is changing all the time because we're not just standing on one spot. We walk.

 

I have no idea how to describe how I felt after my own mouth and lips and voice made the confirmation to enter IPG KSM (Kampus Sultan Mizan). I went to UiTM Alor Gajah or it's more fabulous to call UiTM Lendu. I am a TESLian migrating from Lendu tu Besut (Where Kampus Sultan Mizan is located). I could see how bad I was but it is worse on how people see me. Just when I quited officially from UiTM, and I had to stay for 2 days in IPG before I went home again (IPG KSM is just an hour by a car from my house, so I can go home often eeheheheheh) I was stuck in my own illusion. 

Behavers :)

When I was home again, everyone noticed the changed me. I became silent all the time and the hyperactive, noisy me was gone automatically. It felt like my soul was absorbed by the surrounding and I felt frail. I was feeling awful because the reluctance was very strong. I didn't want to come here and I am here for the sake of my parents. It happened a long time ago.

And now I recovered. I recovered from being such a stupid person to be selfish. It's true. I was selfish. I didn't think of my parents. I didn't care about how they were feeling. How had my father said to me, he felt like dying seeing me stuck in that horrible situation. I didn't smile when people were joking. Usually it was me who laughed before they started to talk. I was in a very bad condition. A very bad one.

My classmates at UiTM are BEHAVERS. The name we created. I love behavers and I'm no longer with them anymore. Sometimes I wished I would fall sick to show the hardships of yearning for them. Eventually, I was really falling sick. I vomited and fuddling all the time. I miss them and I don't wanna leave that Kampus Alor Gajah. But the fact is, I have to see my current place. I'm here now in Besut.

1PPISMP TESL 

I took a long time to get along with my current surrounding. I tried to laugh, but I couldn't. But, Allah is the Powerful One. Allah is Almighty. With all His power, He turned me into this way. Perhaps I was such a silent one. I was gloomy but todays, I spoke up in my class :)