"This is gonna be real!" I tapped on the Enter on the black keyboard and finally the post was displayed successfully on my Facebook account!
"What are you doing?" my sister asked, with her eyes sticking to her phone screen.
"I have been buying these novels and read them once. Don't you think it's gonna be quite a waste? I should have sold them with pre-loved price," I turned around on my swivelling chair to see her lying like a sluggard on my bed.
"But, why?" she bolted upright, putting her cellphone down jumping on my bed.
"Don't ask why! It's not a big deal to you," I always made myself win in every talk. Why people kept judging anyway?
"Erghh," she lied down again and lifted her cellphone upright to stare closely. "It's always hard to talk to you,"
I smiled to her. Not to her actually but to myself for being so good in making people go loosely lost in argument. I swivelled to my laptop screen and refreshed on the notification tab. My fat thumb was busy pinching the other fingers as excitement was going to enter later.
"Yeah!!" I screamed. "Hey, sis. Somebody is going to buy my books!" I jumped onto the bed to catch her forearm.
"Let go of me!" she snapped away. "Then, just sell it!"
"I have classes. Can you make it for me, please..." I pouted my lips annoying her so bad.
"Then, just go for two days. You got weekends to be filled," she stood up and took off from my room.
*
The airport was hectic as always. Foreigners, local men, janitors, aircraft personnel, were walking down and up the ramp and the aisle and the whole place. I was sitting with my bag packed with the books, costing me more than usual price to pay for the overlimited luggage. "Where is she?" I thought to myself.
I looked at my watch, and back to the sky beyond the roof of the porch. I looked again at my watch, touching my cellphone screen, and smiled at my Elephant wallpaper. I sighed. Minutes passed and she was not here yet. I growled. The steel I was sitting on was nailed by the glass wall. I leant against it and I knew people inside would see my hijab and pieces of fat bloated from my squeezed body being pressed against the wall. I fumbled in my backpack and found my black earphone. By the time I got it inserted carefully at one of my ear, I saw a silhoutte of somebody I intended to meet in this state after 45 minutes journey from Pengkalan Chepa.
"Hey!" I jumped from the seat and strode to the striding guy. "Hey!!" I screamed again. I heaved my backpack to higher parts of my shoulder in stabilizing myself when running. "Hey, Doctor!!" and he skidded to a halt while his eyes wandering around the boarding door. "Ey, doc!"
"You called me?" he walked a few steps and stopped right in front of me. "You called me?"
"Yes, I did. Em, my name is N," I smiled to her. Shaking hands with non-mahram, a guy who we can marry legally, is not my lifestyle.
"Hi," he smiled to me awkwardly. His voice was plain and the tone was flat. Realising the bewilderment curling around his head, I started my introduction.
"I am N. The girl you're buying the novels from,"
"Oh..." he squinted. "Yeah!" Now, the memory had came across his brain. "Yeah, I remembered you! I am buying your novels. But, I think it's not yet our appointment..."
"Yeah, you're right. I just arrived here and waiting for my sister to come fetch me. Where're you going?"
"Err, I was about to buy an adhoc plane ticket. I need to go to Bandung..." this statement had shaken my heart. He hadn't finished what he was about to say but I felt like the air in my belly was pushing all the food to go out from my throat. My head started to spin and the excitement was getting into a void taste of joy. "My friend there, he fell sick...." and it became more painful. I hated the feeling I had before but the new feeling coming was really more to be hated. I wanted to meet him so bad. The guy buying my novels was a famous intelligent icon to youngsters and I met him but he would be gone in a few seconds.
*
"Hey... N?" he whispered to my ear.
"Doc..." I cocked my head to my right side and I saw all of the potholes, pimples, scars, wrinkles very intricately visible to my eyes.
"You fainted," he said. "Do you want me to call your sister, or your parents?"
I was so confused. My eyes feebly meandered up and down and I saw an unfamiliniar air conditioner, couches, and glass windows which I remembered my bedroom windows very unlikely to be built like this. "Am I at hospital?"
"Yes, you are diagnosed with...."
"Wait!" I manouvred slowly and gripped the plastic tubes I never touched before. "What happened to me?"
"You fainted at the airport," he sighed. He was looking handsome in his black t-shirt and denim long pants with messy hair.
"So, you brought me here?"
"I brought you here. I treated you here." he stood up from the upholstered chair.
"You....treated me?" I looked at him.
"Well, not my shift at the moment," he looked at his black big watch spiraling his dark wrist. He walked to a couch and yanked his bag to his shoulders. "I better see you tonight,"
I looked at the clock on the wall. It was 8.34 a.m. and how long had I been sedated? But why he wanted to sedate me? Oh, I fainted. But, he treated me? He must have seen my skin and this was a real embarassment I had to embrace. What happened to me? Why did I stop him from talking? I should have asked more about my health. I pulled hard the duvet to cover my whole body and glad my head was still in my hijab. I turned my body towards the glass window and capture the morning sunshine into my face. He went out without saying goodbye or other vital information about me.
As I almost fell back to drowsiness, a sound of the door clicked open was distracting my time. "Some plain water to sip," a glass jug he took from nowhere was put on a small table beside me. He sat on the same chair he sat before, and looked at me with eyes that loom stuffed with something to say. "I am sorry," he sighed.
"Why?"
"I took a look at your laptop when it fell off your backpack. Once you were sent here, I tried to fix it and it was actually okay. But I found..."
"You found what?"
"Your forbidden folder," he said, slightly remorsed.
"What do you mean?" I knew what he meant. The file was there. It was not closed or exited. The forbidden file I named. I knew I was fool enough to name something that make people so eager to open. I should have gone with the name of assignment, titles, numbering, codes that bore human.
"I never thought.."
"You should never spoke of it," I glanced away. It was so painful to humiliate myself for a few times. I fainted. He brought me here. He looked underneath my attires. He saw my forbidden file.
"Yeah, I guess..."
"No, doc. I hated to say this. But it was true. I liked you a lot. I tried to delete it. But the folder was not... I did not understand the computer system," I wished my denials win. "I... it's... it's not my folder. It's my sister's. Yeah, he likex you a lot! Not me!" I tangled my hand in between the duvet and my patient dress. I trembled and I could not control it.
"N... " he tried to soothe me.
"no..." I was too ashamed.
"What are you doing?" my sister asked, with her eyes sticking to her phone screen.
"I have been buying these novels and read them once. Don't you think it's gonna be quite a waste? I should have sold them with pre-loved price," I turned around on my swivelling chair to see her lying like a sluggard on my bed.
"But, why?" she bolted upright, putting her cellphone down jumping on my bed.
"Don't ask why! It's not a big deal to you," I always made myself win in every talk. Why people kept judging anyway?
"Erghh," she lied down again and lifted her cellphone upright to stare closely. "It's always hard to talk to you,"
I smiled to her. Not to her actually but to myself for being so good in making people go loosely lost in argument. I swivelled to my laptop screen and refreshed on the notification tab. My fat thumb was busy pinching the other fingers as excitement was going to enter later.
"Yeah!!" I screamed. "Hey, sis. Somebody is going to buy my books!" I jumped onto the bed to catch her forearm.
"Let go of me!" she snapped away. "Then, just sell it!"
"I have classes. Can you make it for me, please..." I pouted my lips annoying her so bad.
"Then, just go for two days. You got weekends to be filled," she stood up and took off from my room.
*
The airport was hectic as always. Foreigners, local men, janitors, aircraft personnel, were walking down and up the ramp and the aisle and the whole place. I was sitting with my bag packed with the books, costing me more than usual price to pay for the overlimited luggage. "Where is she?" I thought to myself.
I looked at my watch, and back to the sky beyond the roof of the porch. I looked again at my watch, touching my cellphone screen, and smiled at my Elephant wallpaper. I sighed. Minutes passed and she was not here yet. I growled. The steel I was sitting on was nailed by the glass wall. I leant against it and I knew people inside would see my hijab and pieces of fat bloated from my squeezed body being pressed against the wall. I fumbled in my backpack and found my black earphone. By the time I got it inserted carefully at one of my ear, I saw a silhoutte of somebody I intended to meet in this state after 45 minutes journey from Pengkalan Chepa.
"Hey!" I jumped from the seat and strode to the striding guy. "Hey!!" I screamed again. I heaved my backpack to higher parts of my shoulder in stabilizing myself when running. "Hey, Doctor!!" and he skidded to a halt while his eyes wandering around the boarding door. "Ey, doc!"
"You called me?" he walked a few steps and stopped right in front of me. "You called me?"
"Yes, I did. Em, my name is N," I smiled to her. Shaking hands with non-mahram, a guy who we can marry legally, is not my lifestyle.
"Hi," he smiled to me awkwardly. His voice was plain and the tone was flat. Realising the bewilderment curling around his head, I started my introduction.
"I am N. The girl you're buying the novels from,"
"Oh..." he squinted. "Yeah!" Now, the memory had came across his brain. "Yeah, I remembered you! I am buying your novels. But, I think it's not yet our appointment..."
"Yeah, you're right. I just arrived here and waiting for my sister to come fetch me. Where're you going?"
"Err, I was about to buy an adhoc plane ticket. I need to go to Bandung..." this statement had shaken my heart. He hadn't finished what he was about to say but I felt like the air in my belly was pushing all the food to go out from my throat. My head started to spin and the excitement was getting into a void taste of joy. "My friend there, he fell sick...." and it became more painful. I hated the feeling I had before but the new feeling coming was really more to be hated. I wanted to meet him so bad. The guy buying my novels was a famous intelligent icon to youngsters and I met him but he would be gone in a few seconds.
*
"Hey... N?" he whispered to my ear.
"Doc..." I cocked my head to my right side and I saw all of the potholes, pimples, scars, wrinkles very intricately visible to my eyes.
"You fainted," he said. "Do you want me to call your sister, or your parents?"
I was so confused. My eyes feebly meandered up and down and I saw an unfamiliniar air conditioner, couches, and glass windows which I remembered my bedroom windows very unlikely to be built like this. "Am I at hospital?"
"Yes, you are diagnosed with...."
"Wait!" I manouvred slowly and gripped the plastic tubes I never touched before. "What happened to me?"
"You fainted at the airport," he sighed. He was looking handsome in his black t-shirt and denim long pants with messy hair.
"So, you brought me here?"
"I brought you here. I treated you here." he stood up from the upholstered chair.
"You....treated me?" I looked at him.
"Well, not my shift at the moment," he looked at his black big watch spiraling his dark wrist. He walked to a couch and yanked his bag to his shoulders. "I better see you tonight,"
I looked at the clock on the wall. It was 8.34 a.m. and how long had I been sedated? But why he wanted to sedate me? Oh, I fainted. But, he treated me? He must have seen my skin and this was a real embarassment I had to embrace. What happened to me? Why did I stop him from talking? I should have asked more about my health. I pulled hard the duvet to cover my whole body and glad my head was still in my hijab. I turned my body towards the glass window and capture the morning sunshine into my face. He went out without saying goodbye or other vital information about me.
As I almost fell back to drowsiness, a sound of the door clicked open was distracting my time. "Some plain water to sip," a glass jug he took from nowhere was put on a small table beside me. He sat on the same chair he sat before, and looked at me with eyes that loom stuffed with something to say. "I am sorry," he sighed.
"Why?"
"I took a look at your laptop when it fell off your backpack. Once you were sent here, I tried to fix it and it was actually okay. But I found..."
"You found what?"
"Your forbidden folder," he said, slightly remorsed.
"What do you mean?" I knew what he meant. The file was there. It was not closed or exited. The forbidden file I named. I knew I was fool enough to name something that make people so eager to open. I should have gone with the name of assignment, titles, numbering, codes that bore human.
"I never thought.."
"You should never spoke of it," I glanced away. It was so painful to humiliate myself for a few times. I fainted. He brought me here. He looked underneath my attires. He saw my forbidden file.
"Yeah, I guess..."
"No, doc. I hated to say this. But it was true. I liked you a lot. I tried to delete it. But the folder was not... I did not understand the computer system," I wished my denials win. "I... it's... it's not my folder. It's my sister's. Yeah, he likex you a lot! Not me!" I tangled my hand in between the duvet and my patient dress. I trembled and I could not control it.
"N... " he tried to soothe me.
"no..." I was too ashamed.
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