The End ?

Funny. I deleted all social media accounts. (Im not sure whatsapp is considered as one).

Its even more funny. That for almost an entire month through every single day filled with the thought of immediate death , I haven't died.

Of many attempts I did, I suddenly think of disasterous hereafter. Funny.

I could not keep everything to myself. I lived to express every grim I felt to anyone. Till that one day, everyone was hurt by my utter confession or expression. Then I kept to myself.

I would not post this on twitter/instagram/facebook and blog is the only platform I can write without being noticed by any acquaintance. Papers at home? Somebody would invade? Keep it it my heart? I might be sick. I need to express, though.

If some strangers found this blog, in case of finding reviews on some fictions, help me.

Coz all I got here around me, was the ultimate anger over my sadness. I am no longer sad, because it was a faulty act. I took time to rest my lips off smiling, people were mad at me. I was sad for not given a chance, it was my fault for not accepting the fact. I struggled to death to moralize someone, people were mad for being too hard on her. They just didnt know what I faced. Because I only knew how to seek attention. Being sad with no purpose is seeking attention. Being away from social medias for my own benefits is attention seeking.

I didnt tell my disease on twitter. I didnt show off my good results on instagram. I didnt say good morning and cringed to those who didnt return the greet on facebook. I only made lame jokes and hoped for nothing in return. and yet, i am the only one seeking attention.

I was an emotional bitch, and still am but currently less than the intense past. I didnt give a damn to some people's business. I sulked a lot before and no more for nowadays because some ugly ducklings like me aint going nowhere if we hope for some coaxing from other people. I learned it like a badass, that I didnt give a damn to sarcasm, ignorance, or biased stuffs from the superior. I walked on my own lane or return the same shits to them. See, I can survive! And yet, I seek attention.

When I kept my sadness to myself, and the gruesome cloudy expression on my face was conspicuously irritating the surrounding, I was forced to pour them out. and what I got in return, "Dont be such a weak ass". Who wants to be weak? My journey to becoming a strong emotional bitch aint easy man.

And yet,

I seek attention.

It might sound stupid, but guess what? There is no solution to my problem. Because the main problem is myself. My friend said I complicated myself because I was traumatised by stupid event that hurt me. Funny. I hate being this complicated.

And I guess, ending is the best way to stop irritating people. Am I right? Going abroad to change my life? No money. Seeking job outside to get money? No consent. Seeking consent to get job? It didnt work. How to make it work? Run. But authority would find me and get me returned back to my place. Funny that when I return, I only have to be ready for the sizzling words from the angers vented for troubling people.

There's no other solution.

I'm sorry. Just leave me in peace. and forgive all my sins if I cant afford the time to be on my knees right in front of ur bodies.

SssOoooorrrAAaaaaayyyy for EvvverryyThGIiinggg . ❤❤❤❤❤❤ xoxo